With Love on Mother's Day

One thing I've been thinking about this Mother's Day is how parenting never gets easier. When I had my first I was completely overwhelmed - with love for this thing that had been pulled out of me, but also with all the new things that I had to learn. None of it came naturally, everything was a struggle to start with. It took a good four months before I even started to find my feet.

And even then I seemed to be doing it all wrong. In a world of Gina Ford I had no routine, I was feeding to sleep, mostly holding my child, co-sleeping, letting her use me as a dummy, 'spoiling her'. I'm so grateful that there are now more groups and blogs and openness to help new mums to find their own way.  (For there is no right way).  But I know it's still harder than you think it's going to be.

Even when number two came along I'm not sure I fared much better.  Yes the baby stuff was easier but coping with siblings was all new. I still wonder if the reason they fight so much now is because I didn't get it right when they were little...

And I still feel like I'm doing it wrong. I was so saddened this week when my daughter said she was crying on the inside 24/7. I think it was a throwaway line but we had a bit of a heart to heart anyway. Will any of what I said help? I think emotional resilience is one of the only things I have left to teach my children.  And I don't even know where I got mine from!

There's a great quote by Donna Ball about motherhood which includes the line:

"...to do the right thing even when you're not sure what the right thing is....

and to forgive yourself, over and over again, for doing everything wrong."

So this Mother's Day here's to mothering (in all its forms) and doing it, rightly or wrongly, with love, over and over again.


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